The Prophet’s Kindness
Bullying is unfortunately a very common concern of parents and teachers. A child that is being bullied can suffer silently, because it doesn’t get the right support. Parents want their children to be strong and able to stand up for themselves to prevent them from being bullied or so that bullying stops. They know the harsh reality of this world and how children and even adults can suffer if they are soft and gentle and have become victims of bullies. It is very painful to know your child is suffering in their school or madrasa or in the neighbourhood.
Schools usually try to manage bullying challenges by following through a bullying protocol and school projects. Especially a prevention program is on the long term very beneficial. There are short term solutions for bullying that give a bit of relief and are very important, but the long term solutions need much more attention and teaching children to be kind and caring is one way to prevent bullying.
Accept and appreciate each other differences
Bullying is based on exclusion. A child or also an adult is identified to become a potential victim on the basis of something that is probably different about him or her. A boy has bigger ears, the new girl has a different accent, the new colleague is shy and the new sister in law has different interests. A lot of problems regarding bullying are about ‘fitting’. Victims of bullying are on many occasions in some way different and the bully (or bullies) uses this to start the bullying. Children need to learn about our differences and that Allah Subhana wa ta’ala created with a purpose everyone in different ways.
Make children aware of accountability
Children need to gradually learn to be accountable for their actions. How will they otherwise take responsibility when they are older? So when they do something wrong, we need to sit and talk about what happened and what is wrong and how to make it right. Give them the tools and options and they can amend their behaviour and learn to avoid the situation a next time.
Allah says in the Quran:
“He does not utter a statement except that there is an observer by him ready to record it.” (Quran 50:18)
Children need to be actively involved in discussions about what we must do as a group to make sure that all children can feel safe. It requires time and effort to make children aware of safety needs. Talks, games and stories will teach children the hazards in physical and emotional safety and how to avoid them. Remind always that being a Muslim means that we do our best to ensure that we care for everyone’s safety.
Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A Muslim is the one who avoids harming Muslims with his tongue and hands. And a Muhajir (emigrant) is the one who gives up (abandons) all what Allah has forbidden.”
Sahih Al Bukhari 10
Children need to learn to be kind too. Some children are naturally very kind and soft hearted and some need a little more help from grownups to choose the kind option. They need to be aware of situations and think what is kind to do now? So don’t give all the answers, let them figure out what is kind to do, so they will learn to think about being kind. Little kind gestures can mean a lot to others. Brainstorm together about little, but important kind gestures.
Get your inspiration from the kindest person ever, the prophet Muhammad sallahu alayhi wa sallam.
The Prophet said: “O Muslim women! None of you should consider insignificant a gift that you give to your neighbor, even if it is but the trotters of a sheep.”
Sahih Al Bukhari
He sallahu alayhi wa sallam also said:
He who is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness.
Sahih Muslim 2592
We need to inspire our children to be kind and caring like the prophet Muhammad sallahu alayhi wa sallam.
It is the prophet ﷺ who reminds us that Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala is the most Kind and we want Him to be pleased with us when we are kind.
O Aisha, Allah is kind and He loves kindness in all matters.
Sahih Bukhari 6528,